Sometimes when we want someone to accept us in their life, we make all sorts of efforts to fit in their equation of life. We also end up shrinking in terms of emotions and feelings. We try to show that we are less sensitive, less judgmental, less important and less needy.
We do this because we don’t want to push away people and we don’t want to come across someone who is more of a burden than a pleasure. We want to be liked, loved and accepted easily. Slowly and slowly we keep sacrificing our true personality to become someone’s idea of a perfect human being.
There are certain mistakes most ladies make when they move in with their boyfriends. Even though it’s not ideal but since we’ve found ourselves in this modern age and time, we still have to be careful about certain things we do. These mistakes include :
- Thinking it will make your financial journey easier.
This is a very sensitive part of living together. My advice to ladies is to find something doing in order to contribute in any way they can. If it’s possible share the responsibilities 50:50. His respect for you will definitely accelerate. Sometimes moving in together may give you the opportunity to save on money but at the same time you may find yourself tied in financial wars instead. You need to agree on who will pay for what otherwise money problems will be the end of you.
- Not being able to compromise on differences.
Here’s another sensitive part we tend to ignore, this is very important as it will constitute the level of peace you will have in that house. You are two different people from two different backgrounds one of you will have to adjust to the other person. However, you need to be open to learn new things from one another and compromise on your differences.
- Not having a life
Yes, you have now moved in with this man but that doesn’t mean you now let go of all your friends and everything just to take care of a home. Men usually maintain their own lifestyles, they go hang out with their friends, go out and do their own things, please don’t be that girl who sits back to wait for her man in the house.
- Lying you’re happy when you’re not
You have just moved in with the man you love but some things may be a bit strange and off as well. Please don’t lie to him when he keeps playing his horrible action movies, be open about the things you don’t like and lay down the rules ASAP. I’m not saying you should take over the house, PS: It’s still his house and you’re not married yet, you should be able to use wisdom and follow things, speak in a gentle manner that will help balance things up. Try not to make it an issue, just table your matter and don’t make it seem like you’re trying to take control, never do that.
- Not doing things you both love
You are two people who have decided to live together so you need to do things you both love. You cannot live like roommates or house mates if you don’t take the time to merge your interests. Create a routine and schedule that will work for you like date nights, cooking nights, movie nights, game nights and the sorts etc. Make sure you always do things together, it helps strengthen the bond between you guys.
- Forgetting you’re two and not one anymore
You’re basically two people now which basically means that you can no longer act like you live alone. You can’t go and sulk in the bedroom or be on your phone all the time which will just make your partner uncomfortable and it’s actually disrespectful to do that, being on your phone when someone is sitting right next to you, it simply means that their company means little or nothing to you. Yes I understand that we do need “me time” sometimes but if it’s gonna be “me time” let it be when you both are busy with different things, not when the other person wants to talk you’re busy with your phone chatting or doing other stuff.
- Not being yourself
We get it, you want to look cute at all times and you wish to show yourselves as the best, you want to look cute and probably look your best when you wake up and not even fart in front of anyone. You need to be yourself, don’t be afraid of just letting loose and being yourself. This is your partner, not a stranger. I don’t see any reason why you won’t relax and just be yourself. You don’t need to pretend to be perfect, nobody is, just loosen up and be yourself and let things flow.
- Not agreeing on who needs to do what
Chores! chores and more chores but who is meant to do what? You are certainly meant to decide on who does what otherwise you will seriously clash. Some men believe that the woman should do everything while other’s need to be constantly told what to do, so you need to decide on who does what and whether it will work for you. But whatever you do, know that you’re the lady and it will eventually tell on you if you keep waiting for who will do what. If it’s not cool by you then talk it out with him and create a balance instead of being angry that he didn’t turn out the garbage or keep his clothes properly. We do know that these men behave like babies most times and so they do need guidance in one or two things. Learn to communicate!
- Expecting to be super romantic at all times
You will not have sex every day, you will not always feel like you’re overwhelmed with love for that person but you need to know that there are days when you will be bored, days when you will want space and days that you will just want to laugh and have fun. You need to understand that it will not always be rosy but it gets better when you get that some days won’t always be so great.
Living with someone is never easy but the most important thing is to make sure that you’re best friends who are not living together just because you want to split the bills but because you genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
There comes that moment in your life when in trying to make someone happy, you end up losing the essence of your own true personality. You forget to recognize yourself. Always remember that you matter, your existence matters, your opinion matters and you are worthwhile just the way you are. NEVER BELITTLE YOURSELF FOR SOMEONE JUST TO GET ACCEPTED IN THEIR LIFE, JUST TO GET THEIR LOVE AND AFFECTION OR JUST TO “FIT IN”…. Happy weekend and Happy Easter in advance lovelies. Do enjoy your holiday.
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