Yes, we all know that we can’t always have the one we love, that sometimes, our feelings can’t be reciprocated and that it’s inevitable to experience unrequited love.
People often say that what we need to do is just move on. They tell you:
“You’ll find someone better. Give it a rest.”
“He likes someone else; you don’t have any chance at all.”
“You deserve more than just being an option – help yourself and move on.”
They’re right – in fact, often times, they are.
But deep inside, there’s something that tells you it’s not going to be easy – it’s not easy to forget someone who gave you so much to remember, someone who made you feel things you thought would never resurface.
And what they don’t understand is that it’s unbearable, the excruciating pain of loving someone who can never love you back is beyond compare.
The way you think about him – the freckles on his face, the dimples, and the glint of joy in his smile, his contagious laugh, and the red lips – you would love so much to memorize it for as long as you want, but you can’t.
The way you would love to do anything just to make him happy – be the reason for the rainbows in his life, but you know someone else has to do it for him instead.
The way your heart beats uncontrollably when he’s around – how he affects you in ways no one else can, and how it’s frustrating to know that he actually cares a bit less about you and your existence.
Or how it breaks your heart when he seems broken inside – when you fail to see that joyful glint in his eyes because he has lots of melancholic thoughts he tries hard to hide.
How you wish to be standing on the shoes of the girl he likes, so you would be able to shower him with all the love he deserves;
and how you would want to do everything so he can turn his eyes on you – to make him see that it’s you – that you’re the one who can make him happy and feel loved, not anyone else who fails to see the goodness in his heart.
Unrequited love is like experiencing insomnia; you know you need to sleep but you can’t, the same way you want to forget and move on but still, you love.
Those who have someone to love and reciprocate the love they give are among the luckiest people in the world. It’s not every day that you get to meet the love of your life or just the one who can walk beside you and make you realize you don’t need to be alone, roaming this earth.
Because having someone – that’s the best gift one can receive; it’s the one thing that can make life worth living.
“This Is What Unrequited Love Feels Like”
Cho Amisola, Storytellers