LifestyleLovers DeskRelationship Talk


A red flag is a good intuitive image to help you process the feelings you have towards something or someone. At the end of a difficult relationship, people often say, “He or she told me who he or she was at the very beginning, but I just didn’t listen.” At first you might want to ignore these feelings probably because you’re so attracted to this person but as time goes on, you’ll realize that there are certain things that you just can’t deal with.

Let’s look at some of these red flags that you must never turn a blind eye to if you really want to be happy in your relationship.

Communication bridges.

When someone finds it difficult to talk about issues or express how they feel. Often, when it would seem most important to be open and honest, they distance themselves emotionally, leaving their partner hanging, or having to deal with a situation on their own. Often, whatever is “communicated” is expressed through moodiness, and sometimes the dreaded “silent treatment.”This isn’t right at all as the other person keeps on wondering what they might have done wrong or what they would do to get you to open up.

Immaturity and Irresponsible Attitude, Unpredictable.

Some people have trouble mastering basic life skills—taking care of themselves, managing their finances and personal space, holding onto a job, and making plans for their life and future. Small crises surrounding the way they live their daily life may take up a lot of time and energy. If so, there may be little time and energy left for you and your issues. These people may still be working on growing up. In other words, it may be hard to rely on them for almost anything. Dealing with someone who can barely take care of his or herself is a serious hardwork and these kind of people won’t give it a second thought when issues arise in a relationship, they will immediately choose the easy way out because that’s just how they function. It’s best to stay away and allow them grow.

Trust Issues.

The same way a mobile phone cannot function without a battery, that’s exactly the way a relationship cannot survive without Trust. Trust is very important in a relationship, as a matter of fact, it’s the most important. When a person has difficulty being honest with himself or herself, it may be hard for them to be honest with you. Some of this behavior may not be calculated and malicious but simply a learned way or habit of coping. However, being out-and-out lied to is a no-brainer. A person who holds himself or herself unaccountable for their actions lacks integrity and lacks respect for their partner. You may feel, and rightly so, that there are a lot of “missing pieces,” so much that you don’t know or that is purposely hidden from you. When you find yourself at this spot, you need to watch it.

When significant family and friends don’t like your partner.

Even though we are advised not to involve third parties in our relationships but most times Live can blind us. If there is something “off” about this person that seems obvious to those who know you so well and more people have said same thing over and over then you may need to listen to what they’re telling you. Often, in the throes of a new relationship, hearing criticism about your new “beloved” may not be welcome, but others may see things more clearly from an outsider’s perspective. At the very least, hear these people out.

Controlling behavior.

For me, this is a form of abuse which is ignored most times because it might not be causing any physical damage. Similarly, a partner may attempt to “divide and conquer,” driving a wedge between you and other significant people in your life. They may be jealous of your ongoing relationships with these people or simply feel the need to control where you go and who you associate with, limiting your world to allow in only what is important to them. Sometimes, they may make you choose them over significant others as an expression of “love.” It is an emotional abuse and it’s not right, it’s best to stay away from such people. Remember that when someone truly loves you, your happiness is their top priority.

Read also : DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS. https://loverealities.com/dealing-with-emotional-abuse-in-relationships/

Feelings of insecurity in the relationship.

Insecurity in a relationship can come from different channels, it can be due to past hurtful experiences of being cheated on or abused. You may often feel that you don’t know where you stand in a relationship. Rather than moving forward, building on shared experiences that should be strengthening your connection, you feel uncomfortable, uncertain, or anxious about where it’s heading. You may seek reassurances from your partner, but somehow these are only momentary and fleeting. As a result, you may be working double duty to keep the relationship on track while your partner contributes little and thus keeps you wondering if they actually want this to work. Never ignore that discomfort you feel, you might want to check it.

Read also : DEALING WITH INSECURITIES. https://loverealities.com/dealing-with-insecurities/

A secretive or dirty past.

Behaviors that are suspicious, illegal activities, and addictive behaviors that haven’t been resolved and continue into your relationship are obvious red flags. But you shouldn’t ignore or excuse anything that strikes you as strange or makes you feel uncomfortable. (Of course, if a person has done the necessary corrective work and continues doing so for their own good and for the good of the relationship, that is a different story.)

Non-resolution of past relationships.

Most times we feel that we don’t need to know anything about our partnerʼs past, owning to the fact that you’re in their present and that is all that matters but the truth is it actually does matter because whatever happened in the past is what shapes the present/future.

These include not just intimate relationships but those with family members and friends. If a person is unable to evaluate why past relationships haven’t worked out, or consistently blames the other party for all of the problems, you can bet with a great deal of confidence that the same thing could happen with your relationship. This is a fact!

A relationship being built on the need to feel needed.

Often times we enter into a relationship strongly identified with our needs, expecting things in return for the love you give, or the pleasure or the financial help. The need may be that you, my partner, must do certain things for me to make me feel secure and satisfied, or that you allow me, your partner, to feel needed by fulfilling your needs. If this dynamic is the focal point of a relationship, however, there may be little room for real growth, especially individually or as a couple.

Abusive or toxic behavior.

Finally, and of course, any form of abuse, from the seemingly mild to the overtly obvious—verbal, emotional, psychological, and certainly physical—is not just a red flag but a huge banner telling you to get out immediately and never look back. If he’s physically abusing you, HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU! No matter the apologies, the gifts or sweet nothings that he tells you, he will still do it again and again. Love yourself enough to realize that you actually deserve better and it’s not your fault that they are like that. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, do it for your family and your friends that loves you greatly, do it for your unborn kids who you do not want to grow up with an abusive father. Do it for all the other women who weren’t strong enough to let go. Leave now and be free.

It’s very important to understand that there are still Good People out there, both male and female. The kind of love that you desire still exists, don’t just give up, don’t stop waiting, don’t settle for less. Love actually comes to those who believe so continue believing.

Have a wonderful day and do stay safe.

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