Okay, I saw a story on the internet yesterday and that actually made me write this… The lady in question was cheated on by her husband, kicked out of the house with her 2year old son and the Man brought in the second woman. 3 years later, he came back begging her, she came back to him no doubt and they renewed their vows… According to her, she became hotter, sexier and all but her heart was already black. He was pampering her, breakfast in bed and all of that but her heart wasn’t there anymore.. She ended up paying him back by cheating with his best friend, gave birth to 2 kids for his best friend, a boy and a girl and they got a family visa and was set to travel out… According to her she was gonna tell her husband about the kids and the affair 2 days before they travel. The man already signed divorce papers unknowing to him.
Now the question is, is she right? For me she isn’t, she actually went overboard but then I do not blame her for that, she did what she felt was right. We all have a role to play in marriage, everyone should do their part. Submission comes when the other party does his part well. You can’t expect your wife to be submissive when you don’t treat her right.
About Robert in Acrimony… Yʼall saying he didn’t do anything… He did everything before the money came and even did more.. Had it been he did things right, Melinda’s sisters wouldn’t have succeeded in influencing her..
Not even about cheating, because that’s like a norm these days, just very few Men can stand and say they’ve never cheated.
That marriage was a sham, so many things were wrong with the foundation. There was practically no relationship between them. I’m not saying it’s bad to believe in yourself, but you have to balance it. There was no emotional support coming from Robert.
He spent his whole life on his battery, neglecting the wife and her needs, emotional needs, physical needs, financial needs. That was a marriage and not a relationship. Melinda was working round the clock to make ends meet but he was busy giving excuses for not helping out… She supported him all the way, the much she could, financially, physically, even the videos he submitted to the company, she was there
.. But what did Robert do? Sit at home all day working on his battery.
That’s not how to do things… Why didn’t he go wash dishes before to help out? After he left, he was washing dishes and still working on his battery right? Why didn’t he do that then to put in a little effort and lighten the burden on her?
Oya if you’re the lady, will you continue? Sincerely, will you? At a point you will be tired! You will be drained!
And I believe Melinda got to that point!
Their love languages were different… She spoke his, but he didn’t speak hers.
Melinda saw him through school, stood by him even after he cheated and she lost her womb in the process but she stayed nonetheless… She believed in him that much.
But everybody has a breaking point and she got to that point, that was why it was easy for her sisters to influence her choices… I believe there were both wrong, Melinda should have picked up the pieces of her life, she should have paid attention to her mental health and seeked help but I blame Robert more. Robert didn’t pay any form of attention to the woman he claimed to love. And then went ahead to marry the same woman he cheated on her with… Why didn’t he marry someone else? Does it mean that anybody that helps him, he will marry the person?
Why didn’t he go back to make his family better, instead he found a prettier and younger looking woman to spend his money with. Whatever you do, never forget those that stood by you when you had nothing! He gave her money? It was never about money with Melinda, She needed Love, attention and Affection. That’s to tell you how low he placed her, no respect at all… Ladies please note, I’m not saying you shouldn’t sacrifice but biko, make sure he’s putting in as much energy.
Robert took the easy way out, he felt, Why would he go back to someone without a womb when he has everything in the new person, after all she kicked him out so there’s no need going back but if you listened to her carefully, she said he left without a backward glance, not asking after her, meaning she wanted him to chase her all of over again, she needed to feel loved and wanted, if he had pressed her mumu button, she would have fallen.. Every woman has a mumu button mbok, but guess what… Nigga already found someone better and that’s how it is… Some men, when they’ve drained you, they leave you for a fresh person but that’s not a reason to put yourself down..
They say women are weaker vessels, yet they wake early to bathe the kids, make breakfast and do other domestic chores while the man is still cruising in his sleep. Yes the man has his own duties too which is to work and provide for his family yea? Same thing they brag about but then they still call a lady who has nothing to do “Lazy”… Why? Because it’s obvious that a woman can also work and provide as well amongst other things so why say they are the weaker vessels… Ladies, You’re Enough!.. You don’t need to compete with anyone, just be yourself. Truth is The only thing that can keep a man is a man that wants to be kept!
She comes back from work, fagged out yet has to make dinner all alone. In the peak of the night the man wriggles into her body seeking all forms of sex styles not minding if she’s tired or not and have to wake up very early the next day. Oh woman is a weaker vessel yet she is an epitome of multitasking. She is an emblem of endurance; expected to endure a cheating man ; expected to be the one to do the praying and fasting; expected to be the one to be doing the most to make the relationship or marriage work; expected to be the one to endure the abuse of every form.
MEN! Don’t you think it’s high time to value these Women a little bit more? Don’t you think it’s high time to step your game? Why cheat? For heaven’s sakes why cheat?
Women! It’s high time we put a little more value on ourselves. It’s time to fight back. Fighting back isn’t about taking revenge. Far from that. Fight back by raising your value, know your worth… Equip yourself. You’re not the weaker vessel, as a matter of fact you’re the stronger vessel! Once again, You’re Enough! You don’t even need to revenge or do anything, the best revenge though is to stay happy, forgive and if possible forget. Don’t let that bitterness rule you, in the end the kids look up to you more, at least for their sake set a better example. Embrace God more.
Lessons I learnt from Acrimony.
Love has no limit but the lover is not fireproof, so you must pay attention to their needs as well.
There is no end to belief. Your dreams will always come through, just stay true to it.
Whilst you wait for that tomorrow, remember there is a today and pay the required price to live for today.
If you have sacrificed for something, never give up. You may just be at the verge of reaping the fruits.
You have to deal with the little foxes; anger, resentment, hate, pain, etc. Seek help else it will destroy you.
Surround yourself with people that will help you with what you need and not what you want. Your friends are damn important, choose wisely.
Faithfulness should beget same. Sacrifice should attract same. If someone has been kind to you, don’t give up easily. Fight for that person till there’s nothing left to fight for.
Don’t sell your dream for a paltry sum, out of desperation. Someone will understand its value and offer you the right price.
No matter how brilliant you are, access is everything. Without access to the right people, you may never achieve your full potential.
You need to let some people go, or be let go by some people to get your breakthrough.
No matter what happens, never forget those who were there when you had nothing.
Take care of your mental health. People pay way more attention to their physical health than their mental health. While you devote resources to the body, devote to the brain as well.
When things do not go the way you want, count your blessings, move on and live your best life.
There, 13 lessons from the flick. Did you learn anything we did not include? Share in comments section.
Enter your email address below to subscribe our blog and get notifications of new posts.