I’ve not really taken time to talk about Love languages even though it’s actually one of my favorite relationship topics… I tell couples in relationships who come to me for counseling that discovering your partnerʼs love language is the first step to having a happy, healthy and successful Relationship.
Imagine two people each speaking their native language excitedly to each other without either person understanding the other. That’s what I would call a conversation of the deaf.
The scenario is ironic because conversations about the importance of communication in relationships are not likely to end anytime soon, especially as it relates to speaking the love language of your partner. Even the most compatible couples quickly run into trouble when they fail to communicate properly. After all, language exists for a reason.
Yet, despite our understanding of the importance of communication, far too many of us fail to communicate properly in our relationships. It gets even more hilarious (and sometimes sad) when it comes to your partnerʼs love language and affection in romantic relationships.
First of all, I would like to list out the Five Love Languages which include ;
- WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
- QUALITY TIME.
- ACTS OF SERVICE.
- RECEIVING GIFTS.
- PHYSICAL TOUCH.
Now a lot of people tend to speak their love languages to their partners and its hard to comprehend when your partner doesn’t understand that what you’re communicating is exactly what you want from them, it even gets more confusing when their love language is different from yours so they don’t really recognize what you’re yearning for. So you see that in as much as you know your love language and you can understand yourself and your needs, it’s more important that you both know each other’s languages so you can speak and flow together, imagine that unbreakable bond when you both are speaking languages that you both understand.
Knowing how common this is, I thought to compare the different love languages by compiling a short list of awkward scenes that crop up when two lovers each speak a different love language.
ACTS OF SERVICE VS QUALITY TIME.
Picture these scenaries….
Barely 30 minutes after you got back from work, you partner wants you to come watch a TV show with him or just sit to talk and listen to what he has to say when you actually have tons of chores to do.
For someone whose Love language is Acts of Service says things like “You can’t even help me” “You just come and sit here for hours!”
Think about it, you exhaust yourself cooking and cleaning for him, and all he wants is quality time. Tears.
GIFTS VS QUALITY TIME
You go broke buying thoughtful gifts for your partner, yet all he/she wants is four hours of your time. Wahala.
GIFTS VS PHYSICAL TOUCH
You may find yourself wondering why your partner is trying to buy you stuff when all you need is someone to hold you. On the other hand, your partner may wonder why you lean towards a lot of body contact when he is ready to pay your trip around the world. Frustrating!
PHYSICAL TOUCH VS WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
An Affirmer says “You want me only for my body. You don’t love me”
And a Toucher..
“You say you love me, but you don’t show me any affection.”
Scenes and complaints when an affirmer meets a toucher. Sad!
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION VS GIFTS.
Ever heard the phrase “Na love I go chop?” Especially when you are big on verbally sharing how you feel. The frustration is real when one party wants sweet words and the other just wants tangible tokens of affection.
These scenarios may be funny to observers, but they point to the importance of communication in relationships. It is important to understand where the other person is coming from, what speaks to them most and then, find a way to reach a middle ground.
The easiest way to discover someone’s love language is to listen to the one they speak more, knowing these love languages helps you to discover ways to love your partner and cherish their efforts and commitment to the relationship.
Now tell us please, what’s your love language??
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You can take the LOVE LANGUAGE TEST to discover yours…. Click on the link below. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/