Most of us can’t really tell the difference between courting and dating someone; someone asked me the question recently and talking about it made me realize that most people actually get it all mixed up and that’s why I have decided to talk about it today. I hope this clears the cloud and answers all your nagging questions about courtship and dating. I will go further to tell you who should date, when you can date, who you should date and also The Biblical process/stages of dating. Here goes nothing ….
What is Dating?
Dating is a fact finding process, in which two matured singles of opposite sex sit to know each other so as to make quality decisions concerning marriage.
=> Dating is for matured people
=> Dating is to know each other (Primary purpose is marriage).
=> Dating is for the opposite sex.
What is Courtship?
This a step further from dating; putting a ring of engagement on it for the ladies…
-Courtship is the period when two mature singles of opposite sex agree to marry.
Who should date?
A mature male and female, not boys and girls.
A mature male is one who is ready psychologically, financially and emotionally to enter into marriage. In Courtship, the man has to have his own house at least or if not his own house, a comfortable place to start a family. He should be able to provide and Carter for his family’s needs because he’s a Man. Am not saying the woman won’t work hard too but as a Man and as the head, you are the Provider.
A mature female is one who is ready emotionally and psychologically as well. She must be at the terminal end of schooling or done with school and should at least have something to offer. The woman was created to be an HELP MEET to the Husband and not a burden; most people confuse it for HELP MATE (Topic for another day)
Who can you date?
(As a Christian who am I permitted to date)
=> He/She must be a born again believer. Even though he is a believer, he must have a heart for God and should have a deep relationship with God. Nonetheless, the both of you can still grow in Christ.
=> He/She must be a person of good character. These 2 are very vital when it comes who you can date as a CHRISTIAN.
Why should you date?
=> To cultivate friendship.
=> To know each other better.
=> To know if you can get along with each other.
=> To know the sincerity of the person you’re dating..
BIBLICAL PROCESS/STAGES OF DATING
ACQUAINTANCE STAGE : This is the stage for knowing the person.
=> Be friendly
=> Be kind and helpful
=> Be Cautious and Discreet
=> Be yourself, don’t pretend.
=> Never draw attention to yourself.
=> Never expect or ask unnecessary questions during this acquaintance stage.
=> Never drop any romantic hint.
=> Never get too familiar.
CASUAL FRIENDS : By this time you both have taken genuine interest in each other.
=> Be helpful
=> Endeavor to be real and open.
=> You can get to introduce him/her to friends and colleagues.
=> Tell your parents.
=> Get to know who he or she is
=> Study them prayerfully
=> Try to get involved in each other’s activities.
=> Do not get physically intimate.
=> Never ask for financial obligation.
=> Do not spend too much time alone.
CLOSE FRIENDSHIP : If you must get to this stage, you’re genuinely interested in marrying the person. Check yourself if you’re at peace.
=> Discuss your future together
=> Do not neglect your family, friends, work or study.
=> Don’t enter into any blood covenant.
COURTSHIP “After the proposal”
There is no assumed proposal, you must be sure that this guy has proposed and is ready to settle, don’t go doing wife duties when you’re still a girlfriend.
Do not start living with him in the name of being in a relationship.
How to avoid sex during dating if you both agreed to wait till after marriage.
=> Make a sound decision within yourself not to be involved with any man or woman in a sexual relationship before marriage no matter what..
=> Set boundaries.
=> Be sensitive.
Sex is a proof of love
I want us to acquire experience..
We are in love and we are planning to marry soon.
These are some fallacies about sex that most people tend to use but the truth is that they are just lies. Someone who loves you will wait until you are ready more so someone who truly wants to spend the rest of their lives with you will also wait, they will have you for the rest of their lives so why the rush. Do not let anyone fool you into believing these lies. Do things cos you want to, not because you were pressured to.
Finally, this is for the ladies… Don’t be too desperate to settle down, and for all singles it’s better to stay single than marry wrongly. Seek God’s face first in everything and He will surely direct your path. Have an Amazing week and do not forget to always wear a smile on your face. Ciao