Abuse according to the English dictionary simply means an unjust, corrupt or wrongful practice.
Now there are different forms of abuses in relationships ranging from Physical abuse, Sexual abuse and Emotional abuse which I’m going to be talking about in this article.
Emotional abuse is playing with a person’s emotions in order to undermine and control them.
It can occur between romantic partners, parents and children or just about any interpersonal relationship. It’s one of the subtlest forms of abuse, which makes it difficult to spot.
Emotional Abuse in a Relationship I would say is the worst kind of abuse and most people fall victim to this because they actually do not know that they are being emotionally abused.
Here are some tale signs to know that your partner is emotionally abusing you and also the dangers of emotional abuse
=> When your partner is being intimidating and tends to threaten you, making you feel scared of them. Using words to scare you to get to do things exactly the way they want it. Making you feel small that you won’t be able to stand up for yourself. This is a sign that you’re being emotionally abused and this can actually cause you to lose your self-esteem and confidence which is one of the dangers of this type of emotional abuse. Most people who fall into this category actually think that they are being Respectful to their partners when they do what they are asked to do but this isn’t Respect at all because you’re actually doing it under duress,you know quite well that if you don’t do it there will be consequences, they tend to deny the fact that they are actually being abused. Women are mostly the victims in this category.
=> Another form of Emotional abuse is Criticism. This entails Use of abusive words, calling of names, wrong accusations just to satisfy their ego. They know quite well you did nothing wrong but their mind already told them you did and the pride won’t let him/her take back that accusation so they tend to force it on you and make you apologize for something you didn’t even do. When your partner is constantly abusing you with words, making you feel like you’re not good enough. Sooner or later, it starts to play out and that’s where the dangers of this type of abuse sets in. You start to lose your self worth, you start to feel like you ain’t good enough, low self-esteem steps in. When they criticize your every move, every little effort you make to make them happy and this might actually come out of a mistake you made in the past which they still carry to heart. Relationships should be built on mutual understanding, Trust and Forgiveness. You don’t have to suffer for your past mistakes, no body is perfect, we all deserve forgiveness so when your partner exhibits this character and it starts affecting you in this ways just know that you’re being emotionally abused.
Other examples of Emotional abuse can be seen when they don’t value your opinion, when they undermine your contribution… You start feeling like you ain’t really playing any role in the relationship … You start to question your self worth. These are common examples of emotional abuse though that people often neglect.
=> Finding out that someone is cheating on you while you’ve been faithful all the while can do crazy things to your mind and heart. It tends to make you act irrational and most times fill you with paranoia, especially when you finally decide to move on. It gets hard to trust again and you might even lose out on a good person all because of the hurt you’ve felt in the past.
And what’s worse… When you can’t let go cos you feel you love them and everybody has faults and no one is perfect.
That’s a pitiful condition. It’s not an excuse for an inconsistent, loveless relationship. You don’t need to be perfect to love someone, You just have to do your best.
=> The last one I’m going to be talking about is being made to feel guilty: Like your partner saying they would kill themselves if you leave them and you’re forced to stay in a relationship because you don’t want them to harm themselves… That’s actually an abuse. The worst one is the silent treatment especially when it’s stressed for too long…
Ego plays a big role in this one… Some people end up drifting apart because of this. It’s worse on the person who didn’t do anything and the one at fault will still be waiting for an apology. The other person will finally apologize for peace to reign but trust me deep down he or she is feeling like you do not love them and they are only begging for your love, Making someone feel unloved and not good enough for your own personal gain is an abuse.
All these being said, I would like to address anyone who has found themselves in this situation. Here’s my advice to you.
Forget about what people will say because maybe you’ve been with him/her for a long time and you guys are like the perfect couple but no one knows how much you’ve wet your pillow most nights because of your partner…
Simple Advice : WALK! You deserve better, you deserve all the love you give and in every shade of it. Don’t stay back because you love them, Love is never enough. You deserve respect, you deserve care, you deserve understanding, friendship, you deserve someone who loves you back as much. Ladies don’t stay back because of the material gain, in the end he will still walk when he finds someone better and you would be left with nothing. You shouldn’t stay back because you feel leaving would make you look like a Coward, trust me you would look like a big Fool being there while he/she is out there cheating with random people… And Finally, never give up on love just because someone hurt you, you would only cheat yourself out of being truly loved. Don’t change because someone left you heartbroken, it would only mean that they won and you lost, do not give them that satisfaction and most importantly work on yourself, improve and GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL! You don’t need to walk into another relationship immediately, be in a relationship with yourself, love yourself the way you deserve to be loved, guard your heart Jealously, do the things that make you happy, those things that you’ve been wanting to do but can’t do because you were devoting yourself to your relationship, this is the time to do them! (Good things o). You don’t have to limit yourself any longer, Go out with friends, make more friends if possible, have fun and enjoy yourself and don’t forget to hold on to God cos you need him more than ever now, you need him on those cold nights, you need him when you see couples everywhere like they just decided to come out of hiding now that you’re single, Hahahaha… Pray and ask him for the right one, he will hear you and he will answer you… I hope this made your day… Thanks