Your partner’s full schedule doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Keep the romance flowing with understanding. Here’s the secret to dating a busy partner.
People often have this notion that what makes relationships thrive is always spending time together. Every day we see lovestruck duos on social media who travel, eat, and go on exotic adventures hand in hand. They’re all beautiful, but unfortunately, many couples today live miles apart and cannot share in similar activities.
Another common obstacle to picture-perfect moments such as these is time itself.
Millennials in particular, thrive on full schedules. They chase careers, build businesses, and transfer to new locations on a whim. If you’re one of those people in a relationship with a perpetually busy person, it’s natural to feel left out. These emotions are totally normal, particularly for individuals who crave a lot of togetherness and physical intimacy .
So what do you do when your partner asks for a night with the boys? Or what if she cancels your dinner date because of an unscheduled board meeting? Or probably can’t take your call when you really want to talk to them.
The first thing you need to remember is to NOT let your time go to waste—use it wisely by living the full life you want, too!
Here are several suggestions.
=> Knowing His Schedule
Find out your partner’s schedule. This will let you know when he is truly free and when he needs to be left alone to get on with things.What days and times does he attend school, travel for work or have off-site work related events? When does he have sporting practice, when does he pursue his hobbies or interests? When is he at work? Most of these times are “off limits” for bothering him
Find out when his schedule can accommodate your calls or presence. This isn’t just about guesswork; use your common sense, as well as asking him directly about when he doesn’t like to be bothered.Think of reasonable times when he’ll be most likely to answer your call. If he has to get up early in the morning, call him early in the night before he goes to sleep instead of holding him up first thing.Ask him if he has any down time at work/school/college or when he’s doing things that he doesn’t mind you calling or turning up to say hello. Maybe he is free for lunch once a week, or maybe he likes to hear from you at 4pm in the afternoon. But don’t presume; actually ask him for his preferences
Avoid prying. When asking him about his schedule, let him know that it’s so that you know when not to bother him. However, if he doesn’t want to tell you what he’s doing every second of the day, avoid an inquisition. He is entitled to some free time without you having to know about it! (Equally, so are you.)
=> Meet-up with friends.
When we first get into a relationship (especially during the “honeymoon phase”), we often forget to hang-out with old friends. They might be understanding of our situation, but at some point, we need to include them back in our lives to retain their trust. So if your lover goes on an unscheduled overtime, call up a friend and catch up on old times. Invite them over for tea or simply chat them up online.
Again: it’s perfectly normal to feel disappointed at first because you were expecting them to be by your side. Just don’t forget there are other people in your life who are just as important.
Go out and move.
Sometimes, the answer is as simple as going out the door. Angry because your weekend meet up is cancelled because of a board meeting? Was she late for your Friday date? Walk it off. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), even just five minutes of physical activity is enough to release endorphins in our body. These chemicals are natural painkillers that reduce stress and improve sleep.
Take a quick jog around the park or walk briskly towards a nearby coffee shop. You’ll get your daily dose of healthy exercise, plus you’ll feel better, too!
=> Get back into a hobby or develop one.
Doing stuff that you enjoy—whether or not it’s the same with your partner’s—is a great way to ease off feelings of being burned out , and keeps us productive. Sometimes, we’re just overwhelmed with everything in our lives (yes, including our relationships). Our hobbies act as a healthy way to recover from that, while providing awesome topics to talk about.
Keep a journal or blog.
Of course, you don’t need to resort to writing full-length pieces, but a simple journal or online blog should keep you busy while you wait for your partner.
Write down your thoughts, fears, date ideas, experiences, and dreams.
If you want, you could even share them with the world so that other people could learn from you!
On a personal note, This has really helped me a great deal. Writing has actually become my safe haven that instead of being frantic, I put my thoughts down and create write ups and articles instead. You should really give it a try.
=> Plan exciting dates.
That’s right. While your significant other is busy, use this as the best opportunity to prepare surprise date ideas. Go ahead and scroll through Pinterest without fear (because they won’t be looking!). If a birthday or an anniversary is on its way, use this time to plan ahead. Create a list of things you want to do together but haven’t found the chance to do so. Then start making calls, booking rooms, or buying tickets. Once they’re back from their alone-time, they’ll be thrilled with your surprise! You can even make them a surprise candle lit dinner, everybody deserves some little romance right?
If you don’t keep yourself preoccupied, you’ll just end up feeling bad and sulking at home. Who wants that? Every person is different, but we each have our own levels of need for a little “me-time” . Learn to accept this and be patient in finding out what works for both of you.
=> Extend a Little Understanding.
There is no secret to lasting relationships .
Sometimes, plans change. People change. You may feel frustrated now because your lover wasn’t so busy before. Or you’re probably wondering why they seem to be taking up too much time away from you. These are to be expected in relationships—especially long-term ones. However, if you’re really in love, you would understand.
Cliché as it may sound, but this is when communication and an open mind becomes vital. Talk to them: what are their priorities now? Do they still intend to include you in their future? What are their plans? If they love you just as much, they would be willing to compromise with you so the relationship remains stable. If they explain that they’re aiming for a better career or that they’ll be busy due to business, then be understanding.
Think about it: if you were in their shoes, wouldn’t you want to be understood in the same way? Perhaps the best gift we could give someone, is the confidence that we’ll always be there for them—no matter what they choose.
Finally, Know that the First rule of Love is PATIENCE… Be Patient enough to receive the love you give.
Forcing it will only lead to mistakes and regrets. Goodluck Lovers!