Few days ago, I was just scrolling through my news feeds on Facebook and I came across a post that was made in one of the popular Facebook group. The post says, “As a lady, mention 3 things a guy can benefit from dating you.”
The post interested my mind and I went to the comment section to see what the ladies have to say. I was baffled with the kind of answers I saw there. I’m sorry to say this, from the comment section, it was very obvious that many ladies have nothing to offer.
Some say good sex, good food, peace of mind, company, jokes, etc. The one that really baffled me was the answer of one particular lady. She said she had nothing to offer. I don’t know if she was joking or serious but that was what inspired this write up.
Before then, I saw one video of a lady on Instagram ranting that no guy should approach her in this 2020 if he’s not capable and ready to spoil her silly, buy her Peruvian and Brazilian hairs, take her on vacation bla bla bla…and I was like well-done ma. If you cannot take care of yourself, I cannot can.
Toxic. Abusive. Destructive. Unhealthy.
These aren’t words that we’d want to associate with relationships, yet so many of us have experienced this or are still experiencing this. Why? This is a question I used to ask myself often… I was that girl. The one caught in a string of toxic, abusive, destructive and downright unhealthy relationships. I would commit the same mistakes over and over again, barely aware of the fact that I was the one creating my mess. Simply put, I didn’t know how to have a healthy relationship, but now I do.
Let me ask you and I want you to be sincere and honest with yourself. What do you have to offer your partner? As a lady, what can a guy benefit from being in a relationship with you, what can you offer a guy? Is it just sex, food, peace of mind etc? As a guy, what do you have to offer your woman? Think about it.
Relationship is supposed to be symbiotic and mutually beneficial.
But we have a lot of parasitic people in relationships these days sucking life out of their partners.
You’re supposed to benefit from your partner and your partner is supposed to benefit from you. But when you’re the only one benefiting, then you’re a parasite!
After years of painful relationships, I found my way out. I’ve discovered what it really takes to attract and maintain healthy relationships. It’s like a veil has been lifted and I can finally see love for what it truly is… Pure, unconditional, uplifting and supportive. Anything less than that is no longer acceptable in my life.
Healthy relationships are available to everyone, you just need to know what they require to exist.
What are the things you’re supposed to offer your partner?
Let it be that it’s because of you your partner is closer to God, goes to church, reads his or her Bible, prays and lives right and not fornicating up and down.
You’re supposed to pray for your partner and help him or her to become strong spiritually but how can you do this when you’re not strong yourself? Take your relationship with God seriously, Build up your faith, get closer to God, Read your Bible and Obey His words. Be spiritual.
Sometimes life happens. Sometimes we are knocked down. Sometimes our failures and shortcomings overwhelms us causing us to be depressed and despondent.
It’s your responsibility to offer emotional support to your partner, to encourage, to give hope and to strengthen the person and to help the person to overcome low self esteem and to regain confidence.
There’s a difference between talking at someone and talking to someone. A healthy conversation between two people does not result in raised voices or vicious attacks. Communicate to each other with love and compassion and check your ego’s at the door. Speak, listen, and really hear what each other is saying. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak… hear your partner out.
For many ladies, all they know how to do is to collect money from their guys, to chop the guy until his pocket runs dry.
No question is asked about whether the guy has a savings, investment or even the source of his income. The same with some guys, in fact many of them are professionals and experts in chopping ladies with “I want to marry you” mantra.
It’s your responsibility to offer your partner financial support both in terms of giving cash, offering advice on how to make more money, save money and become financially prudent and independent.
Most of the problems we’re having today is as a result of our intellectual bankruptcy. Nothing dey head. We have many beautiful girls without brain, many thick, tall and handsome guys without sense.
It’s your responsibility to offer your partner intelligent ideas, knowledge and solutions that will better his or her life. Add something to your head, read books to develop yourself and your mind, listen to things that are beneficial to your wellbeing and life.
We’re living in a very fast paced world. Everything is moving on a high speed that if you don’t buckle up, you will be left behind hence the need to developing, improving, evolving and enhancing with the season and be in tune with what’s obtainable at a time.
These are what you are supposed to help your partner to do, to become better in every aspect because they met you. Let it not be that his became worse because he met you. Help your partner to become a better version of his or herself.
Make up your mind that you will be an asset to anyone that comes across your life. Be an asset. Don’t be a parasite!
Master these five things, and you will master your relationships. It’s time to say goodbye to unhealthy relationships. It’s time to stop settling for less than you deserve. It’s time for you to embrace healthy relationships. After all… You are worthy.